Emily, I agree that we cannot be held responsible for every action a person makes, that they do have some personal responsibility. For some of the examples you gave I would say a person struggling with gluttony, you don’t invite them to an all you can eat food bar, but that you go somewhere that healthy eating habits can be made and so forth.

On this issue, the bikini issue, we as women know that men are visual. Our youth cannot say they don’t know this, it’s an issue we have discussed on many occasions. And as women, you cannot say that you buy a bikini to wear in public for any other reason than to draw attention to yourself. Whether it’s right or wrong (that it does draw attention) is beyond the point, you know it’s going to. And as Christian women we are called to encourage our brothers, Jesus even says that if we cause a child to stumble that it is better for a millstone to be tied to our neck and be dropped in the ocean. Is it a big responsibility for women to think about their brothers in Christ and purposefully avoid adding to temptations, yes, but I think it is a responsibility that we are called to. And really it’s not just bikinis, it’s all clothing, I think this is the point Marty is trying to make. We are called as Women of God to be set apart, to be in the world but not like it. And when we’re showing all our “goods” for everyone to see, we look just like the world we are called to be a witness to.

Weight Problem, you’re right about the cultural differences, in Africa women do show their upper bodies, but they keep their knees covered because that is what men there find attractive. But I think you’re wrong on the other issues. Just because something is socially/culturally acceptable doesn’t make it right. Again we are called to be set apart, not like the world.

Modest is hottest.

http://www.thisisreverb.com/2009/09/unstatisfied-with-discontent.html

However, while I agree with you that our job as Christians is to be light for the world and lead by example or whatever, it can become a crippling task to constantly worry about how what you say and do (and wear) and how it will strike others.

For instance, what if my office mate’s worst battle is fought with addiction to the Internet? Do I stay off the Internet all day, even though there’s nothing wrong with it?

Or what if Joe J’s struggle is with laziness and sloth? Do I work all day, every day, with no break time whatsoever, so that he does not see me resting for a moment, follow my lead, and subsequently abuse the privilege?

Say Jane Schmane’s conflict arises with food – gluttony. Do I avoid her while I eat? What if I really like her?

What about someone who struggles with a filthy mouth and knowing where to draw the line? Should Derek Webb clean up his lyrics, even though they move and touch people in ways they’ve never experienced?

One’s struggle is with music? Should I stop listening to Michael Jackson because he might inspire wayward thoughts in…someone?

What if I struggle with not respecting the powers that tell me I have to dress business casual everyday. Should you have to wear a suit and tie to show me the way?

All I’m saying is, while yes, as Christians it’s our job to lead the way – there’s no way we can accommodate all man’s sins. That’s why no one is perfect. It is our job to lead simple, modest, and sincere lives as straightforwardly as we are able.

As for the bikinis? While you won’t see me in one anytime soon, I think there’s a right way and a wrong way to go about it. Some bikinis are about as revealing as my socks, while some non-bikinis are about as covering as a pair of flip-flops. The testing line, I think, is does it meet your standards of decency when you put it on? If I’m walking around worrying about my bits falling out, it’s probably not something I should be wearing.

I can either worry about making sure I don’t bother anyone – and fail – or I can live my life as a Christian to the best of my ability. If I do that, I think I can be as blameless as possible.